"I Am So Happy to See You"... (not)

“I’m so happy to see you”… (not!)

Have you ever said those words to someone while you were cringing inside at the prospect of actually having a conversation with them?   The first words out of their mouths are usually a complaint about the weather which quickly moves to a complaint about everyone else around them.  Then, there is always the “doom and gloomer”; ‘life is the pits and let me pull you right down in this black hole with me”.  And… the most obnoxious, “It’s all about me”!

Years ago, an associate walked into my office where I was having a conversation with my boss.  We both looked up when we saw him standing there and quickly stopped what we were doing to say hello and have a brief chat.  He left after a few moments and as we turned back to our work, I commented on what a great person he was.  My boss smiled and said  “Yes, he really is.  He is one of those rare people that you are always glad came into the room when they leave”.

That has really stuck with me over the years.  What impression or thoughts do I leave people with as I pass through their lives?  Do they see in me what I would desire; or, do they see the things that surface quickly during my hurried and stressful days?    OK… as much as the “whiners”, “doomers” and “all about me” people make me cringe;  at one time or another I am sure that I have been just like one or all of them.   Hopefully, time and spiritual maturity have made me “less” and the presence of the Holy Spirit in me “greater”. 

Changing our words, responses and relationships is difficult (if not impossible) when we are trying to follow “rules of behavior”.   The truth of the matter is that in a transformed life, the words or reactions that come from any Godly person should be a “Holy Spirit Spontaneous Response” as opposed to a “Fleshly Self-controlled Reaction”.     If you have times like these or battle with the “why did I say or do that” guilt syndrome, there is hope:

            Galatians 5:16-22

The Spirit versus the Flesh

 ¹⁶ I say then, walk by the Spirit  and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. ¹⁷ For the flesh desires what is against the Spirit, and the Spirit desires what is against the flesh; these are opposed to each other, so that you don't do what you want.  ¹⁸ But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

    ¹⁹ Now the works of the flesh are obvious:  sexual immorality, moral impurity, promiscuity, ²⁰ idolatry, sorcery, hatreds, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambitions, dissensions, factions, ²¹ envy, drunkenness, carousing, and anything similar, about which I tell you in advance—as I told you before—that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

    ²² But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,  goodness, faith, ²³ gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law. ²⁴ Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. ²⁵ If we live by the Spirit, we must also follow the Spirit. ²⁶ We must not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.  (Holman Christian Standard Bible)

I think I am turning into a “Blue Haired” Lady!

 “The silver-haired head is a crown of glory, If it is found in the way of righteousness.” (NKJV) Proverbs 16:31

Sometime after the “Beatles”, my first 100lb  Litton Micromaster,  Avocadao green and gold kitchen, Boy Scouts, Booster Clubs and Empty Nest - Without warning or announcement,  I have turned into a Blue Haired Lady.  Oh, you can’t really see the blue; and won’t (as long as I can help it}, but it has truly happened.    And you know, it’s not all that bad!  OK…,  I concede that wearing glasses to put on makeup, double checking locks at night, sleeping in to 5AM, no caffeine after 10:AM and dinner over by 6PM  can be a drag.   

But there is an “up side”!

Life is moving faster, so I find myself slowing down.

People don’t seem to listen to me as much, so I am more careful about the words I chose to say.

I know that “Good-Bye” can be forever, so every “Hello”  is a celebration.

My brain doesn’t seem to work as fast, so it is more important for me to think before I do.

“Stuff” is inanimate and gives nothing.  I’m so over “stuff”!   -  Living is all about the heart.

My tears flow less freely, my tongue bites less frequently, and it takes a lot to offend me.  I think this is why my passion and faith is deeper and less distracted.

Friends have become family.  My children will soon become my parents (Maybe a little while longer on this one!)

"So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom."                           Psalm 90:12 ESV

Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may

not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

                                                                                                                      Matthew 6:25-34 The Message

Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.                                                                           1 Timothy 4:12

Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding, for she is more profitable than

silver and yields better returns than gold. She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her. Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor.  Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace. She is a tree of life to those who embrace her; those who lay hold of her will be blessed.                                                                                     Proverbs 3: 13-18 NIV

Guess I'll Just Eat Worms!

“Guess I’ll Just Eat Worms!” 

Probably most of us have heard this little song at one time in our life  “Nobody loves me, everybody hates me – guess I’ll just eat worms!”.   Although I would like to think this song is just reserved for children; I  have unfortunately sung it many times in my adult life.    Oh… the “pity party” we can throw when we feel hurt, misunderstood or reprimanded by those we love.   We laboriously whine through the “head dialogue”:  “Can’t they see how hard I am trying to be and provide all that they want?”  “Why can’t they consider my feelings for a change?”   “Could I just be first for once!”

It’s really kind of ridiculous when one considers the concept “I am miserable with those around me, so I am going to see what I can do about making my situation worse and eat some worms”.  But… that’s exactly what we do.   We lash out at others with hurtful words, sulk in the silence of self-imposed loneliness, and lay in wait for the moment to “get them back”.   The reality is that “eating worms” would work out a lot better for us and be far more palatable in the aftermath of our “self-solutions”.

So… next time I have an appetite for “worms”, I am going to remind myself that my “GOD loved ME so much…. He forgave all my words, my sullen silence, hateful reactions and brought me to him to live eternally and be loved without condition. 

And one other thing!  He told me to “pass it on”. (I sometimes forget this part!)

When you feel  "Nobody really loves me"

God says: "I love you" (John 3:16 & John 13:34)

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.

Front End Faith or Back End Believer – Second Step: From Surrender to Submission

Not everyone has to fall into a “pit” to become surrendered to God.  But everyone has to reach a place where they relinquish control and completely trust the nature of our omnipotent and loving God.  Surrender is where we go when we have fully given over everything within us to the God that we have complete trust and faith in.  It is the surrender in our life that brings the change and takes us from reaction to response.  Surrender gives us hope and courage.  Surrender is an “earth shaking - eye opening event”  that becomes the catalyst for new life.

James 4:7

7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

Submission, on the other hand, is a daily decisive process of obedience.  As God reveals his will and plans for our lives; it is in the state of surrender that we make the decision to submit to the path or order in our lives that God ordains.  Surrender  colors submission as the decisions and choices we make become more “God” centered and  less “Me” Centered.  The many times I have looked back on my life and wished I had done or said something differently are always events that were driven by “Me” mentality;  and the results are always disastrous.  Surrender brings the confidence that God has the “hindsight” that we will never have.    Submission takes that confidence and requires a submissive heart and a desire to be obedient to the plans that God has for us.

"But there is an essential difference between submission and surrender. The former is the conscious acceptance of reality. There is a superficial yielding, but tension continues...It is halfhearted acceptance. It is described by words such as resignation, compliance, acknowledgement, concession. There remains a feeling of reservation, a tug in the direction of non-acceptance. Surrender, on the other hand, is the moment when my forces of resistance cease to function, when I cannot help but respond to the call of the Spirit.

The ability to surrender is a gift of God. However eagerly we may desire it, however diligently we may strive to acquire it, surrender cannot be attained by personal endeavor."

Brennan Manning, in The Importance of Being Foolish

God has been very clear in what he expects from his Children in the “living example” of submission and obedience that he sent to us in Jesus.

Matthew 26:36-46 (New Living Translation)

Jesus Prays in Gethsemane

 36 Then Jesus went with them to the olive grove called Gethsemane, and he said, “Sit here while I go over there to pray.” 37 He took Peter and Zebedee’s two sons, James and John, and he became anguished and distressed. 38 He told them, “My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”

 39 He went on a little farther and bowed with his face to the ground, praying, “My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.”

 40 Then he returned to the disciples and found them asleep. He said to Peter, “Couldn’t you watch with me even one hour? 41 Keep watch and pray, so that you will not give in to temptation. For the spirit is willing, but the body is weak!”

 42 Then Jesus left them a second time and prayed, “My Father! If this cup cannot be taken away[a] unless I drink it, your will be done.” 43 When he returned to them again, he found them sleeping, for they couldn’t keep their eyes open.

 44 So he went to pray a third time, saying the same things again. 45 Then he came to the disciples and said, “Go ahead and sleep. Have your rest. But look—the time has come. The Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. 46 Up, let’s be going. Look, my betrayer is here!”

Bottom line:  The difference between “Surrender and  Submission” is all about “control”.

Surrender – relinquish control

Submit – Take Control by choice to follow what God wants in our lives

Remember God doesn’t want our complete surrender because he is some kind of egocentric tyrant sitting on his “God throne”!  He wants our surrender and submissive obedience because he loves us and wants the best for us.  We may never see or understand His big picture, but this is what complete surrender is.  We don’t have to see the plan he has for us, we just have to trust Him and His nature.  

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Isaiah 45:22 (New Living Translation)     22 Let all the world look to me for salvation!    For I am God; there is no other.

Matthew 4:4 (New Living Translation)   4 But Jesus told him, “No! The Scriptures say,  ‘People do not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the  mouth of God.

1 John 4:9 (New Living Translation)        9 God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him.

Are you ready for “new life”?   Are you “sick of being sick”?  Is your “roller coaster” out of control?  Is it time for some change in the relationships you have with those around you?  Would you really like to know if this is “all there is”?   Maybe it’s time to give up control to a God who can create breath, move mountains and give you a joy that passes all understanding.

Psalm 90:2 (New Living Translation)       2 Before the mountains were born,  before you gave birth to the earth and the world,  from beginning to end, you  are God.

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Front End Faith or Back End Believer – First Step: Surrender

I can do this?   I can be anything I want to be?  If I work hard enough – it will all come to me.  If it is to be – it’s up to me!  I am woman watch me roar!   I need to think about Me. 
….so how is the “I/Me” thing working out for you?

Am I surrendered to God?  

sur·ren·der
(v. sur·ren·dered, sur·ren·der·ing, sur·ren·ders v.tr.

1. To relinquish possession or control of to another because of demand or
    compulsion.

Relinquish total control of all that is me to Him? 

2. To give up in favor of another.

Give up the world in “favor” of His plans for me?

3. To give up or give back (something that has been granted)

Dedicate and give back to Him every gift (including my children) that He has
           given me?

4. To give up or abandon:

Abandon the futility of possessions, security, ego to seek Him first, love him first, and desire more than anything His will be fulfilled in me?

5. To give over or resign (oneself) to something, as to an emotion:

 Resign and commit  that today everything changes – it stops being about “me” as I am desperate for all of “Him”?

Galatians 2:20 (New American Standard Bible)       20"I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.

Surrender – the first and most profound step to a radical spiritual breakthrough requires dying to self and living in Christ.  Surrender requires “Faith” and complete trust in what we don’t know or can’t see.  Conversely, “Faith” just can’t happen without surrender. 

Hebrews 11

Faith in Action

 1 Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. 2 This is what the ancients were commended for.

 3 By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.

Surrender becomes a process that claims our hearts and takes us to the abundant life that God wants for each of us. 

Isaiah 41:10'        Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.'

Surrender is a place where God empowers and equips us to carry out his plans and purpose for our lives. 

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Surrender is a choice we make every day as we begin to see ourselves as God sees us. 

Isaiah 65:2 (New American Standard Bible)       I have spread out My hands all day long to a rebellious people, Who walk in the way which is not good, following their own thoughts,

Surrender humbles us and we find that we also see others differently.  Love for others is no longer a command but a response. 

Matthew 22:37-39        …Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind…And the second is…love your neighbor as yourself.

Are you at the place where you are desperately seeking more?  Are you feeling “is this all there is”?  Maybe it’s time you took the first intentional step to a radical spiritual breakthrough.   That “first step” of surrender can be so much easier if it is by “faith” and not a “fall”. 

Front End Faith or Back End Believer – How?

First Step – Big Fall!

Are you fighting to save what seems to be a hopeless marriage?  Are you grieving for the loss of a loved one?  Has your life been turned upside down?  Did your sweet babies become teenagers?  Do you feel alone and disconnected?  Is your anxiety so overwhelming in your life that you just can’t function?  Maybe it’s time for the first step to a Radical Spiritual Breakthrough!

My post last week was difficult for me.  After all, depression is “depressing”!  Most people don’t want to talk, hear or read about it.  We prefer just to push the subject down into a place we think the world doesn’t see and we don’t have to acknowledge.  And… we all know how that “really works out” for us…

Every journey has a “point of beginning” and to understand the “How” of what I want to share with you, it is important to share with you what started my journey to a “Radical Spiritual Breakthrough”.   Although Depression was a major “landmark” and catalyst, it was not the “point of beginning”.  

It was with the typical childlike faith of a six year old that drew me to Jesus so many years ago. The wonder of children is that they are still uncomplicated by the world around them.  “My heart hurt…  Jesus loved me… I wanted to love Him… If I asked him to come into my heart, he would…He would never leave me and would take me to heaven with him one day.”  It was that simple acceptance and I was never the same again.

Well, that took care of what I wanted from God.  But…what did He want from me?

Micah 6:8 (New International Version, ©2010)
⁸ He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.    And what does the LORD require of you?
To  act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly^[a] with your God.

It would be wonderful to tell you this is exactly what happened in my life.  Unfortunately, like most of humankind, my life journey was on “my own power”.   My teen and young adult life could have been so much better.  My marriage would have been what God intended it to be; and the years of fretting, worry, and depression would have been quite different. 

Was I saved?  Oh yes!

John 10:29 New Living Translation (©2007)
for my Father has given them to me, and he is more powerful than anyone else. No one can snatch them from the Father's hand.

Was I living the “abundant/full” life that God had intended?  Oh, no…

John 10:10 (New Century Version)
¹⁰ A thief comes to steal and kill and destroy, but I came to give life—life in all its fullness.

John 10:10 (New King James Version)
¹⁰ The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.

The “Landmark and Catalyst” – The best thing that ever happened to me

Face down floor hugging Fear -  Broken -   Bleak  -  Unable to move, talk or react - Disgust for myself and disgusted by everyone around me - Anger and resentment - Bitter and Cold – Crushed!

You are probably wondering how this could be a “best thing” for anyone?  The lowest point of my life,,, A good thing!  

The First Step…takes a really big Fall!

There was only one place to go.  After all, my Father was right there with me, as He had promised He would be.  Surrender was my only option – there was no way that I had any “power” to pull out of this one. 

The first step is always about surrender.  For some of us it takes coming to a place where we realize that we are not in control – we are desperate, depleted and powerless.    For others, surrender becomes a process of reaching a point where we finally “get it”!  The apostle Paul had his  “Damascan” road experience.   King David had his “pit” and Peter had his “Crowing Rooster”. 

Surrender:  Complete trust in the nature of God, knowing that He has a plan for every detail of our life.  Surrender is death to our old nature, plans and self absorption.  Surrender births the abundant life that God has purposed and designed for us.  Whatever happens in this world, we have peace and joy knowing that our Father loves us and He will bring the plans for our life to fruition.

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

Psalm 37:23
“The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord … 

Proverbs 16:9 ”A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.”

Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”
Isaiah 48:17Thus says the Lord, Your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: “I am the Lord your God, who teaches you to profit, who leads you by the way you should go.”
Psalm 32:8 “I will instruct you and teach you in the way should go; I will guide you with My eye.” 

Psalm 48:14 “For this is God, our God forever and ever; He will be our guide even to death.” 

Isaiah 58:11
“The Lord will guide you continually …”

Does God desire for us to go through the “bad stuff” in life?   Does any parent desire that for a child?   It is in his mercy that he allows us to come to a place where we finally realize that He loves us and if we just give all of what we are to Him, we will have the life that He wants us to bless us with.   

Psalm 40

    For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.

 ¹ I waited patiently for the LORD;
   he turned to me and heard my cry.
² He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
   out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
   and gave me a firm place to stand.
³ He put a new song in my mouth,
   a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the LORD
   and put their trust in him.

 ⁴ Blessed is the one
   who trusts in the LORD,
who does not look to the proud,
   to those who turn aside to false gods.
⁵ Many, LORD my God,
   are the wonders you have done,
   the things you planned for us.
None can compare with you;
   were I to speak and tell of your deeds,
   they would be too many to declare.

 ⁶ Sacrifice and offering you did not desire—
   but my ears you have opened—
   burnt offerings and sin offerings you did not require.
⁷ Then I said, “Here I am, I have come—
   it is written about me in the scroll.
⁸ I desire to do your will, my God;
   your law is within my heart.”

Front End Faith or Back End Believer - (Part 3 - Why?)

Depression is like twilight.  Everything begins to dim as the sun sinks in the horizon. With the exit of the sun comes a creeping darkness and sometimes an unsettling chill.   It’s harder to see in twilight.  Our vision can’t always adjust to the incoming darkness and everything in our view is skewed with a greyish blurred cast.   Depression is like that; dark, chilling and our perceptions of people and our life situations become skewed and blurred.

I think every person who has ever taken a breath has moments of depression.  Many suffer from it on a daily basis; and “hanging on” to the light becomes an everyday battle.   A personal battle with depression was the catalyst for this study.  My first clinical (fetal position) depression was over 24 years ago.  Hitting the “proverbial wall” was an eye opener and took several years for me to get my mind and heart around.  I would like to say that as a “Godly” woman, I simply prayed my way out of it.  That wouldn’t be true…I wasn’t able to pray.  But…others were praying fervently for me.

In time, the depression passed and life was so much better.  It felt good to be a stronger and different person. I learned much and let go of a lifetime of hurt.  God moved in my life and I began a journey with him that daily took me to extraordinary new places.  Surely…I would never be depressed again?  

…Then, about five years ago – Bam!  Unbelievable pain, loss and “twilight” engulfed me.  This time however, I knew what it was and “why” it was there.  This was the time for “face down – floor hugging prayer”.   My tears flowed, my heart broke and on that floor my heart and spirit cried  “God, this one is yours.  I don’t even want to try to get myself out of it”.  In that moment I surrendered all pain, hurt, ego, personal efforts, people I loved, my plans and control to Him.  I stood up from that floor with only the memory of “twilight”, confidant that God had a plan even in this; and a desire to see what God would do with it.   The peace that came over me was miraculous and brought with it a joy that I could not begin to explain. 

2 Corinthians 8:2that in a great trial of affliction the abundance of their joy and their deep poverty abounded in the riches of their liberality.

1 Thessalonians 1:6And you became followers of us and of the Lord, having received the word in much affliction, with joy of the Holy Spirit,

Did the cycle of depression end here?  Yes… but the attacks of depression can come at any time.  The “twilight” can begin to dim my view and I feel the chill coming.  For the most part, I have become more aware that keeping the “light” on keeps the “dark” out.   The “light” is Jesus.  The life that I know daily live has become surrendered instead of “my way”.   I am intentional in my relationship and my desire to grow in holiness.  That can be difficult when the world can take you on an opposite journey. 

Philippians 4:7 New Living Translation (©2007)Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

This is my "Why" for Front End Faith.  I want joy and peace before, during and at the end of anything life throws at me.  That's the differance between "thriving" and "surviving"!  This is huge and probably difficult for some of you to believe but we are promised:

John 14:27 New Living Translation (©2007)"I am leaving you with a gift--peace of mind and heart.
And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give.
So don't be troubled or afraid.

This blog was created to share with you what I have learned about radically changing your life and growing in a relationship that will change you forever.   It is a journey that begins with one step and from there a continual walk that will take you to a place you probably think is not possible.